I’ve been to a few events for people planning weddings and met a lot of people (which I really enjoy). I’ve also watched what people do (which is fascinating).
The prospective bride and groom like to know what to expect but, for many people beyond the happy couple, it’s a trip to somewhere special. I totally get that, I have done exactly the same thing. It can be part or the buildup to the big day.
The bit I don’t really understand, where I feel like I’m a man living in the wrong time, is the obsession with photographs (how will this look?). I had photographs taken when I got married, but I’m not sure I’d do it that way again: it just took a bit too much time out of the day. All we really got was some pictures of friends and family trying to disguise their discomfort and/or boredom at the direction from the photographer. The pictures have lain undisturbed for decades. I may have looked at them twice since they came back from the photographer, thirty years ago.
Obviously, technology has changed since I got married. Now there is no waiting to see the pictures, there’s a good chance they’ll be on social media before the event is over. Will you look at them as often as I have looked at mine? I had to wait a couple of weeks to see my wedding photos which, I suppose, kept some interest for a bit longer. Once you’ve seen them, how often do you expect to look at them?
When I think back it’s how I felt that I really remember most. All the things that made everyone have a good time and supply them with anecdotes for future use. Dodging the terrible weather as we dashed out of the church, the uncle uncharacteristically drinking a little too much, the work colleague that chatted up a cousin and asking me for how to contact her, the DJ playing the music we wanted.
It all felt wonderful and I enjoy that feeling to this day. What I don’t really want, is to look back and see how it actually looked: the questionable fashions, hairstyles, colour schemes.
If I have a point to make, it’s this: do what will make you feel great on your wedding day. If that includes live music, you know where to find me.